Crazed Rabid Killer Cows
by Allyssa Cordell
Summary: cows are attacking the band room....grab your cow repellent and prepare to laugh....chapter 3 up! finally!
1. band practice goes bad

CRAZED RABID KILLER COWS  
  
a/n the two main characters in this story are based on me and someone who isn't actually from my school. But she's a good friend of mine, and who else would I include in a story called "crazed rabid killer cows"? Ah, me and picc, rampaging through the tfbc chat room, oh, lol.::hands reader the cow repellent:: Trust me, you'll need it.  
  
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It was another fine day in Wauseon, Ohio. In fact, it was better than fine, it was a great day!! Why was it a great day? Well duh, we had band practice that evening. So about 5:45 I walked into our band room. I made sure to be plenty early, I was a section leader and wanted to set an example to my little group. I walked over to my locker and was pleased to meet my friend, Jay. We got out our instruments, my marching clarinet, Sally, and her piccolo, Zoe (yes, we named our instruments, you got a problem with that?). We then proceeded to sit down, her just in front of me. We were actually *both* section leaders, so we took attendance of our underlings as they wandered in while we talked about this, that, and anything else.   
  
Eventually we somehow came onto the subject of cows. Don't ask me how, we have some weird conversations, me and Jay. We were arguing about what sound they made, Jay was dead certain that the classic "moo" was incorrect. Well I wasn't one to disagree, but we couldn't decide what the actual sound was. We were probably getting some really weird looks as we tried out different sounds, deciding that none were really accurate. Then, suddenly, we heard it.   
  
Muuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrmm.  
  
Muuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrmm.  
  
"Hey, wow, that's it!!" cried Jay. Meanwhile, I turned around to see who had done such a good impression. But instead of a talented bandie, behind us, walking into the band room through the open doors, was a herd of cows. Yes, cows. As all the eyes in the room turned toward them, some people gasped, while others laughed. Me? I ran. I grabbed Sally, pulled Jay by the arm, and sought refuge in the music library. Why, you ask? I hate cows. They always show all these fluffy harmless things sweetly saying "mooo," but seeing them up close is a whole other story.   
  
As it turns out, I was the smartest one in the room. We were soon to find out that these were no normal cows. Not at all. Pas du tout, mon ami. As you could probably already tell from the title of the story, they were crazed rabid killer cows. And I mean "killer" literally. They claimed their first victim right away. Since the door they came in was right near where the percussionists were gathering, it was, of course, one of them. I can't say anyone was really devastated to the loss of one snarky snare drummer, after all, no one liked Dan. But as soon as everyone witnessed this, they took my example and ran. Almost instantly the BD office, the practice rooms, the uniform room, and the library were full of people, and the main room held nothing but cows. Of course, it held Dan, too...but there was nothing to do about that. As the cows didn't seem to want to leave, we were all trapped. Trapped in cramped little nooks off of the band room, and we had no idea when we'd be able to get out.  
  
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heh heh...this was inspired by happenings in the tfbc chat room...well i can't actually say when, because it's happened a few times, lol. but it's, of course, not done. i'll get the next chapter up soon. and no, i don't actually hate cows. i made that up. please reveiw...i probably won't post the next chapter 'til you do.... 


	2. percussionists and paint balloons

a/n-sorry I couldn't get this chapter up sooner...I was in Georgia for a week, then came home to find that my computer was completely screwed up, and couldn't connect to the internet...it was enough that I had suffered a week of internet withdrawal, then more...urgh. But it's up now, so smile, be happy!! I am...  
  
oh, and btw i *will* eventually get the next chapter of attack of the percs up...i have most of it, hopefully within a few days. hopefully. (in other words...don't hold your breath, i've been really busy lately)  
  
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So we were stuck in the library. There was only one door into it, and that was directly into the room full of cows. And that was a bad place to go....we didn't want to fall to the same fate as Dan. We were desperate to get out, we didn't want to have to stay in the library forever....plus the only other people in there besides me and Jay were...percussionists....it was getting noisy...they were banging on the walls, the floor, the filing cabinets...and I was getting a headache.  
  
Well I'm not stupid...the first problem was stopping the percussionists' noise, and I knew the solution for that was easy. I grabbed Sally, and told Jay to prepare Zoe. "On three," I told her. "one...two...three!"   
  
WHEEEEEEEEEEETT  
  
Together we played the highest notes we could....my G and her Bb. The percussionists stopped immediately, and grabbed their ears. The really high notes had echoed off the walls in the small room, and they were all moaning in pain.  
  
"Sorry, guys...but you were being obnoxious..." I told them.   
  
After I'd solved the drumming problem, Kendra, who was by the entrance, looked out the window in the door. "Uh oh." she said. "They're getting into the lockers."  
  
Me and Jay instantly looked at each other. We both shared the same thought. Ella. Sarah. My wooden concert clari...her flute. They were in our lockers. And the CRK cows were getting into them...we *had* to get them out.  
  
So we pulled out something we'd been saving for such an instance as this. The paint balloons. Inside one of the filing cabinets in the library was a small supply of balloons filled with different colors of paint. Don't ask me why, we had to get them somewhere and it just seemed too cheesy to just pull them out of the air like we usually do.  
  
We pulled out the balloons, about a dozen, so six for each of us. Then we pushed our way through the percs to the door. We readied ourselves, and pushed it open. The cows were busy digging through the lockers to notice us right away. Luckily they hadn't gotten to the flute and clarinet lockers yet, they were busy with the boners' and mellos'. But it was only a matter of time. So we rushed forward.  
  
Then they noticed us. So we ran as fast as we could, hurling paint balloons as we went. We got to our lockers, grabbed our cases, and made a break for the BD's office. We crammed ourselves in there, where most of the rest of the flute/picc and clarinet sections were. By that point we only had one balloon between us. But we had saved Ella and Sarah, and that was enough. And yet there was still the problem of getting rid of the cows...  
  
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reviews are appreciated..... 


	3. plans

Thank You to all my kind reviewers!! Your waiting has paid off, I've *finally* posted the 3rd chapter!! Katie, I love your reviews, they always keep me so amused...and don't worry, I won't let them hurt your flute!! and any tfbc-ers, thank you for making the trip over here to read about those pesky cows. And finally, on with the story!!  
  
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The cows had given up on getting inside to bother us and were getting into the lockers again. Luckily Ella and Sarah were now safe, in here with me and Jay. But we had to get rid of them. We couldn't stay here forever, so we needed a plan. I looked out of the window in the door, searching for anything that could help us. Then I saw it, sitting on a table of assorted percussion objects. The cowbell. It was just what we needed, and I showed the group.  
  
"Perfect!!" said Jay, "But how do we get it? We only have one paint balloon left, and that won't be enough..."  
  
"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Think, Jay! Who are we stuck with?"  
  
"All the flutes, piccolos, and clarinets. So?"  
  
"All the highest people! You all just need to get right outside the door and play your highest note, that should shock them long enough for me to get the bell. The only thing is I'm not sure what I should do with it. If I run, ringing it, they'll follow me, but they'll probably catch me too quick."  
  
"I know! Don't ring it until you get outside. Tie it to the back bumper of your car and drive away, slow enough that they'll be able to keep up."  
  
"But where should I lead them?"  
  
"Go to the top of Walter's Cliff and throw the bell off the edge. I just hope they're stupid enough to follow it."  
  
"Me too. But it's definatly worth a shot!! Thanks Jay!! Now everyone get ready to play high!...and someone watch Sally and Ella for me!!"  
  
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so...what happens to the cows? well it's all up to you, the reader. send in a review naming their fate. does the plan work and they die an awful death falling off a cliff? do they get the trick and attack me and my friends? do they get caught and sent to a high security pen at the zoo? you pick! 


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